It's amazing how much a person can impact another. Some in a positive way and others in destructive ways. Take for instance, my growing up years. I knew my mom was always going to keep her word and come home every day. She said it - she did it. That built trust in my relationship with her. She had integrity in her word. When she said she loved me, I believed her because her actions consistently lined up with her words.
There are some people in my life that over the years affected me in a darker way. People that didn't have my best interests in mind and abused situations where I had given trust freely. As I got older, I quickly realized that there were people who didn't live by the same code. This was baffling to me because I grew up fairly sheltered and believed all mankind knew the rules to the game - be kind to your neighbor - share - apologize - tell the truth.
But the real world offered something else. A place where wounding occurred.
Consider Adam and Eve in the garden - in all their innocence and purity - they trusted. They had no reason to fear anyone or anything in their world. Then one day everything changed. Eve took a bite of some tantalizing fruit that altered the course of their future in an instant. Adam and Eve had broken trust with God. They had made a choice that would forever transform their experience on earth. They 'knew' things now.
As I look at my life in retrospect - I have come to 'know' things. I have tasted the fruit of love and loss. I have experienced the joy of creating life and the pain of a broken marriage. I have a micro-sized glimpse into God's heart and the ache He must have felt when He was betrayed.
But God created us to be resilient. Our hearts somehow take in the hurt and are able to heal and go on. I choose to trust - some days are harder than others because my past knocks on the door of my heart and reminds me of stories that I have lived out. I am a creation of the sum of many experiences, words, thoughts, interactions and that has shaped and formed me into the woman I am today - strengths and weaknesses combined. This can complicate matters quickly.
I want to live my life as someone who walks in trust. And my heart knows that trust is the only way to move forward and experience new things. I am working on that and know that God can rebuild the broken places of my soul.
About Me
- Jacqui
- I'm a person of purpose. My parents taught me to always leave something better than how you found it. When I leave this earth, that's my goal. To have loved and touched lives in a way that inspires people to live full-out. To embrace their dreams regardless of their circumstances and use their influence to better the lives of the people they come in contact with. I love Africa - it's my home and it is where I feel called to make an impact on this earth. I have 3 children that are givers and lovers. They are adventurous and powerful and I love being their mom. I am a child of God and a perpetual dreamer. I believe if we can think it, we can create it!